My Shack

A few friends and I have just started a Book Club. I have recently started to read again having had a hiatus in literary escapism and have, during the past 12 months, read a number of autobiographies which have really challenged my ways of thinking including opinion on historical events.I don't really read much fiction. However, we have decided that our first book we should read together in our club is 'The Shack' - a book which has been recommended to me by a number of good friends. We have to read six chapters within the next three weeks but I have already read five of them and I don't want to put the book down.

Last night, whilst I was reading the book, I found myself crying on a number of occasions. And, these tears were due to various things. The first thing, which people are probably tired of me writing and talking about is the ache in my heart to be back in the US. When I was reading the first chapter or so and how the writer talked about Oregon, just little mentions here and there, I could literally smell that Oregon air and it reminded me of all that I miss. I could see streets, people, mountains... memories, laughter and tears. I was reminded of my time there and all the awesome people I have met along the way. So, that was the first thing that the book brought up.

Then, as I got into the story and the heartache, pain and loss of the main character my heart just broke (I don't want to give anything away in terms of the story as I think everybody should read it!). When he returns to the Shack and begins to question God and break down in pain... I just broke. I had to literally put the book down and just sob. The author states that 'everybody has their shack' - the place in which so much pain, loss and heartache is found.

And, I believe that I am starting to wipe away the dust on the windows of my shack. It's painful and I guess I have gotton to a place where I just ignore it. It's so buried down within me that the thought of unearthing it is going to be so tough. I feel as if, my Shack is a broken record to people... and it links in with what I previously wrote about in terms of my heart to be back in the US. But, I realise that until I face it and wrestle with God in that place, there is a danger that my Walk with my Papa will become cold and distant - not trusting Him with my life, hopes and dreams. And, I don't want that.*sigh*... this book is already bringing things to the surface. I am worried that if I start to cry, I won't be able to stop.