through the valley

I am so tired today -- I have been away in Staines this past weekend, and amongst rubbing shoulders with Brian May and Anita Dobson, I got to spend some time with some good University friends.

As I keep referring to the past four months having been extremely challenging, I will keep the theme going just a little longer..

I really feel as if I'm reaching the end of a very long valley - which in all honesty, I've kept myself in. I probably could have emerged from it a lot earlier than now, but I decided to dawdle a little bit. I've been honest with some great friends, friends who have accepted me despite my flaws and mistakes. Friends who will be friends for life. There has been such a release this past fortnight and there's a light I can see!

I have also really felt challenged this past couple of weeks to practise the act of reconciliation. There has been situations over the past months wherein friends have been lost, and it's not necessarily that I want to clamber to get those friendships back because they will never be what they once were. However, I think there has to be reconciliation and a process which involves an acceptance of mistakes made - I am trying to do that...

I think God is shaking everything that needs to be shaken. And, He is definately taking me through a purification process. And, you know what? What I have been through the past couple of months has opened my eyes up to a LOT. It's so easy to say "that's how you should deal with it.. or *this* is how you should deal with it.. how you're dealing with it is wrong" and I know I have done that in the past. But, you know what? People deal with things in very different ways and that is totally ok.

I have taken my time dealing with the stuff that I've needed to, and sure - I could have dealt with my mistake in better ways.. but through it all I have been held in the hands of a Wonderful Maker who is shaping and changing and growing me. It's a sometimes painful process, but I trust and Love Him.