In the Midst Of..

2008 has passed and here we are, already in 2009. I remember thinking, whilst watching one of the Back To The Future films many years ago, 'I wonder what it'll be like in the 21st Century, whether we will indeed use the Hover Board to travel'.

But, it's still our feet. (which is a good thing otherwise we could have ended up travelling in armchairs, a la Wal*E mode).

For me, 2008 was a year during which I threw myself into my job. I became what I did and many times throughout the year I would find myself stressed, unable to sleep and working to, more often than not, ridiculous deadlines. But, in many ways I thought this was good - I was proving myself and also my ability to manage and grow the company in which I work and did see fruit from this.

Now it's a whole 9 days since we opened our 2009 calendars, I have had a little time to reflect on last year and think about the year ahead.

I think that I have reached a stage whereat I choose to not make lofty plans for the year ahead. I think planning is important but so much can change in a matter of days let alone 12 months. Lots of things have changed for me in the past 12 months but not necessarily those things I thought would change. I guess that makes it so much more evident that God is God and His thoughts differ so much from ours!

For so long in my life, I have lived in the future and have longed for the day when.

I had a comment on a previous blog from a good friend stating that I always write about the same thing in my blogs - i.e. dreams, unfulfilled desires, etc and he was so right. I have lived in that place for a long time and it's only really this past year during which, I have examined those areas of my life.

I guess that, admittedly, I put more hope in my dreams than in my Maker.

So, God has brought me to a place of really and truely laying some things down. I'm not saying that those things are forgotton but, they are in their rightful place - not in my Hands but at the foot of the Cross. Best place for them.

Since I slowly (when I say slowly, it's been about 8 years!) have reached this place of surrendering those things, God has opened up some doors - and, to be honest, the doors He is opening are pretty daunting. I have had to ask myself the question 'crap, am I ready for this' and thoughts that life has become comfortable in the past couple of years - do I really want to uproot?.... I don't think I would have even considered these things a number of years ago. I do believe that it's so important to consider things whilst also not allowing external factors to ultimately determine decision.

Last Sunday whilst visiting a Church in California, the Pastor was talking about how everything belongs to God and we are only stewards of things. (e.g. money, gifting, family, etc). That really challenged me about what I was doing with what God has given - am I being a good steward or am I using those things as excuses to remain in the status quo?

At the end of the day, I guess what has really shifted in my heart is the concentration on God rather than me. All I am is His and all I have is His. The only lofty plan I have for 2009 is to have a year, during which my relationship with God is priority. Not my dreams but the pursuit of His heart. I want to be closer to God... not from a striving but from a falling in love with Him.

So, for me, 2009 is a year to fall in love.